Thank You, Moma and Daddy

Moma and Daddy in 1989, Moma at 65, Daddy at 71
Moma at 65, Daddy at 71.

Today I am sharing about my parents.  I combine Mother’s Day and Father’s Day because they were such an amazing team as parents. I seem to remember they used Dr. Spock, a famous pediatrician in the 40’s and 50’s, (not to be confused with Mr. Spock on Star Trek!) as a guide to good parenting. But I think they also contributed from the good and some of the bad that their parents used on them. But we all grew into good, really nice, honest, hard-working, loving, and industrious people with a wicked sense of humor (Thank you, Daddy) because of the wonderful parents who raised us with love, Christian training, teaching us about many different topics, taking us on many trips to interesting places that broadened our relationship with others and the world.

I wrote this in 2000 on my parents 50th wedding anniversary. Since that time, Daddy lived four more years with declining mental acuity due to vascular dementia and a stroke, which mercifully ended that decline.

Mother lived to January 2010. We found out she had had the signs of Alzheimer’s or some kind of dementia while Daddy was still living but the symptoms were so subtle that we kids at first didn’t recognize them for what they were.

The sitters who took care of Daddy, took care of Moma too. After Daddy died, my brother and his wife gave Moma a home and loving care. Finally she was placed in a nursing home where Aunt Helen, her sister-in-law, could visit her often.

I saw Moma about every month or so because I lived in North Carolina and she lived in South Carolina. Each visit, it seemed, revealed more and more of my mother being lost.

Moma was my example of what a good woman, wife, and mother should be. I was the oldest, Dawn came two years after me, then Jim six years after me, and then Betty 12 years after me.

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Moma and Daddy on their honeymoon. 1950
Moma and Daddy at 50th Anniversar
Moma, 76 and Daddy, 81 on their 50th Anniversary, November 4, 2000

Dear Moma and Daddy,

This is a very special day for all of us. You have been married fifty years. A feat not everyone has achieved. It takes a lot of love to make a marriage work and last that long. We, your four children and their families, want to honor you and this wonderful accomplishment by reminiscing and sharing what you mean to us.

I wish every child could have you two for parents. The word that summarizes our family growing up would be “love.” You treated each of us as a precious gift from God. You taught us how to love each other, how to love God, our extended families of aunts and uncles and cousins, then others around us.

We were given examples of the love by your marriage, by your care for us, by your teachings of sharing and relating to others and from your supporting our participation in family gatherings, church activities, and other community related events.

Moma, since Daddy had to work outside the home, you were our minute to minute reminder that we were loved. I believe your family and your home were two of your greatest joys.

You were and still are my primary example of what a good mother, Christian woman, wife and nurse should be. These are the crucial roles I define myself by even now. You were the foundation of my personality and every part of my life I consider important.

I know you find it hard to believe Moma, but I thought of you also as a beautiful movie star with your bright beautiful eyes and smile. This way of looking at you was probably learned from Daddy because he was and is so proud of you and your inner and outer beauty.

You were like the Dale Evans to his Roy Rogers; always ready to help, or come to the rescue when someone was in trouble. (Can you tell I grew up on Roy Rogers and Dale Evans shows?)

I love that picture Daddy took of you in the black scoop neck dress, looking upward, smiling with shining eyes. No wonder I thought you were so beautiful!

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Mother a little after my birth. 1951.

I remember some of the times I was sick and how you took me to our pediatrician and then cared for me. Daddy helped when he was home too.

I remember the clothes you sewed for Dawn’s and my dolls because we couldn’t afford store bought doll clothes, but yours were so much better! I remember your taking us places while Daddy worked, to movies, to see family members and the park.

I enjoyed many activities with my family. We prayed, played, worked, learned, traveled, ate, and worshiped together.

I remember the music in our home. We sang in the car when traveling; You played the piano, then we each took music lessons in piano or violin; sang in the church choir and listened to records. Music added joy and texture to our lives.  Daddy always said the only music he could make was on the radio, but he loved to hear us all singing together.

Watching us grow up, learn and live, hopefully, at least most of the time has been a reward of sorts for all the tears, prayers, and effort you two spent caring for us, playing with us, nurturing us, sacrificing for us, staying up late with us and always, always worrying about us. Because of your efforts the world is four good people better off.

Thank you Moma and Daddy for the examples you set, for making our childhoods so rich with love, memories, experiences and each other.  You did a great job. You know, actually your job isn’t finished. We still need you. You are our examples of what life ahead can be like. You are needed here still to advise  and support us. But most of all we still need your love and prayers.

Thank you both for doing such a great job. We stand as monuments to your skills as parents and to your love.

With love,

Elaine

So you can see how fortunate we were to have this woman as our mother. I realize more and more as I get older the strength of character, she had to be mother and often father to us four kids. Daddy had to support us all financially so he was gone often. But when he returned home, it was a very happy love filled time.


20 thoughts on “Thank You, Moma and Daddy

  1. Lovely letter. Love is so special, and to find love through the years with your Mother and your Father warms the heart. What a blessing that they lived their highest and best quality of life, for as long as they could.

    Dementia is a harsh disease, but thankfully they both had the love and support of family. I believe we are spirits in human form. As such we can still touch and be touched even with dementia. I prove this on a monthly basis. I am a Reminiscence Coach, and work with persons who have dementia. They are still in there, and can be reached. Love conquers all.

    Like

    1. Thank you for your kind words. My aunt is now the oldest of our family at 93. She has dementia too. I am trying to enjoy my life as much as I am able not knowing what my future holds. I am almost 65 and hopefully have 15 more years to make a good life for my senior years. It is reassuring that someone with your experience has such a positive outlook on the potential for the elderly. Thank you again.

      Liked by 1 person

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