My Cats Are Too Smart!

You who have cats know how they love a nice quiet, dark, warm place to hide. I have no problem with that as long as it isn’t under my bed! But…. well, let me give you some background first.

Years ago I bought a full sized Sleep Number bed, that you can raise and lower the head or the knees. As you may know, cats love to have hiding places to go to for protection from loud sounds, strangers and to prevent being found when it’s time to go to the vet. My two cats loved to hide under my bed. for those times when they wanted to be left alone or be unreachable.

Please understand that I wouldn’t deny them this haven of peace, warmth, and solitude if things were normal. But Norie has asthma (Hairballs or Feline Asthma) for which she needs her inhaler twice a day. Although she gladly accepts her medicine twice a day, if she had an attack I would need to get to her to give her some medicine even if she is under the bed. With a full size bed, this would not be easy.

Sister also has medicine that she has to be given twice a day. She hates getting two Insulin shots twice a day. So she found out quickly that if she hides under the bed, I can’t reach her. That worked well for her until I bought a Styrofoam pool noodle and prodded her out from under the bed.

Sister also has been known to poop under my bed and on rare occasions and has barfed under there too!! So under my bed was nice for them but potentially risky or messy for me.

There is a material attached closely to the “box springs” of this kind of bed where the electronic stuff is. It also has a soft but firm cushioned “skirt” around the perimeter of the box springs. So I built a wall of upside down, cloth boxes, empty plastic drawers and heavy bulky bags full of next season’s clothes under the bed. I have two bedside cabinets to help seal off two sides of the head of the bed. I inspected my work and the underside of my bed appeared safely secure.

Clothes storage bag under one side of my bed.
Clothes storage bag under one side of my bed.

Soon I was appalled as I stood and watched one of them blithely saunter out from under my bed. So I inspected my work again and filled the tiny spaces under my bed with empty litter jugs. My jaw dropped when I saw them searching for another hole to enter their “fortress of solitude.”

Persistent Norie ever searching for an opening.
Persistent Norie ever searching for an opening.

So imagine my shock one morning when I heard scratching under my bed in the wee hours of the morning! My waking,  stuporous brain realized that they were under the bed again. So I crawled around the bed on my knees, flashlight in hand, looking for a breach in the perimeter.

Aha! Found out they were flattening themselves and getting in by pushing against the foam skirt and entering their haven. So I got up off of my poor knees and added height to the “wall” by placing heavy albums, my laptop case, my CPAP traveling case and anything I could find to fill in those gaps.

One large, low lying plastic box to protect the underside of my bed.
One large, low lying plastic box to protect the underside of my bed.

Yet again they were found, lounging under the bed! Some how I had missed the fact that they were smart enough to push the smaller, empty plastic boxes inwards, thereby making a clear path for themselves. So I then I am looked for heavy books and things to put in the plastic boxes to prevent the cats from sliding them out of their way,

I have written a post previously on Sister’s amazing Ninja skills: hiding, being absolutely still and silent and the “power” of camouflage. (Sister, the Ninja Cat.)  She knows that I know where her favorite hiding places are. So she takes great pride in searching the blockade to find a space just big enough for her to eek through. Just yesterday I walked into the bedroom and found her searching for another way in to their inner sanctum. When she realized that I was there watching her she stopped, sat down and looked at me! She knows she is not supposed to be under the bed!

So just when I thought that I had the bed problem resolved, Sister found another weak link in my chain of protection. This time she found a space at the top of the bed between the headboard and the mattress where she could squeeze through. I filled that space with a box of tissues! That worked until I raised the head of the bed and the box fell out of the space.

So the war continues, at least until in one of my senile moments in the middle of the night, I trip over one of the protruding pieces of the blockade and break some part of my body or if they give up the war.

15 thoughts on “My Cats Are Too Smart!

    1. Why didn’t I think of that! I know it would work for Norie. Sister, only if she didn’t suspect that I had medicine to give her. Lol. You made my day!! I am delighted that you enjoy my cat stories!!! Thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. There’s nothing else for it, girlfriend, you need serious** lumber. Build a wall that surrounds the bed on all four sides with 2-by-8s or an inch over however tall the gap is. It will need to be screwed together in place (you have a son….) so it utterly surrounds the bed tightly and cannot be moved without the aid of a screwdriver. If you want to be really fancy you (son? handyman?) could construct the box so it sits snugly under the bed but about 4 inches in on the sides and bottom to prevent you stubbing your toes on the wall.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I go with skyscapes. Get the lumber and build a box. My cats go under a king bed when they don’t want to be bothered (pestered, hugged, medicated, you will in the verb!). I have a broomstick handle I use and it gets very hissy but it’s effective. Cats are amazingly creative.


    1. Norie is secure just being in my bedroom. Sister is afraid of people at least at first. But she has always been afraid of brooms and plastic bags. So I bought a styrofoam noodle to poke and prod her with if she gets under the bed and won’t come out. She likes to hide in my closet under my clothes now thankfully. Thanks for commenting!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I like the noodle idea because no one gets hurt. I have 2 cats that prefer bedroom naps too. Mollie stays in the spare bedroom most of the day and I feed her there too. I don’t knw how that started but she’s 13 so I don’t think she will change.

        Liked by 1 person

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