My Inner Child Is Alive and Well

Posted on by Joyful2bee

When I was two years old my uncle gave me a “real live, Smokey the Bear,” teddy bear for Christmas. Smokey had a hat, badge and shovel, which was lost so early on that I don’t remember them. But somehow the plastic belt with a metal buckle with his name, “Smokey,” on it lasted many years.

He was very soft, though I remember him now as having had some of his fluffy fur “loved off” like the Velveteen Rabbit’s fur at the end of the book of that name. Smokey had a rubberized face with a snout and a pink tongue. His golden eyes looked like real eyes with irises and pupils. 

He went with me everywhere until I started school. Once my family took a trip to Florida when I was four years old. Thirty miles down the road, from a tourist spot, we had just visited, I started crying hysterically! I couldn’t find my Smokey the Bear!!! 

My parents figured out that I left my Smokey the Bear at the last sight-seeing stop. Moma and Daddy knew I would not sleep that night without my Smokey! Daddy turned the car around and drove back 30 miles to where I left Smokey. Here is a picture of me and my Smokey the Bear.

Child and 1950's Smokey the Bear teddy bear
Three year old me and my bear, Smokey.

Only Memories and Photos Left

I went to school, married and packed Smokey for our move. Before long there were mostly memories and photos left. Smokey was packed away with my childhood in a box. After twenty or more years of adulthood, I discovered that the box, that Smokey had been stored in, had become wet from a recent flood in our garage. It was too late for him. He was already mildewed and smelly. So I sadly had to throw out one of the last vestiges of my childhood besides my memories and pictures.

A New Old Smokey

Much later, I was thinking of my Smokey, and thought about trying to find one on the internet. I found one just like my old Smokey. I excitedly bought him and lovingly cleaned his face, eyes, and fur as best I could. I matched blue duck cloth material to his old stained pants and sewed them on a piece at a time over the old pants. Then I proudly put his belt back around his middle.

A Smokey the Bear Like the One I had as a Child..
1950's Smokey the Bear teddy bear
Cleaned up old Smokey with new pants

I have on occasion hugged him, recapturing some of the feelings I had when I hugged my old Smokey as a child. Sometimes, I just look at him and smile, remembering how much I loved my old Smokey.

A Symbol of My Childhood and Adulthood

I really do love the new old Smokey too. He is so much like my old one that he warms the heart of my inner child, whom I continue to nurture even after all these years. The new old Smokey is like the old Smokey, yet different. He has pale blue stains on his paws and now has new pants sewn over the old ones. A few seams needed mending too.  

You see the new old Smokey is like me too. I still have my “little” Elaine but I too have needed repairs. I have “stains” from old wounds from sad and painful experiences. The old wounds were sewn up, patched over, or cleaned away. 

The new old Smokey is a reminder that even though there have been difficult times, with emotional scars from healing wounds and painful memories, I can still enjoy my life. (My inner child told me so!)

How is Your Inner Child?

I think we all need our inner child to help us remember to let go and enjoy; submerge ourselves in play sometimes; see the lights, beauty, happiness of Christmas, holidays, nature, a pet, or time with family and friends, as our own little, inner child once did. Watching little children play or better still participating in their play can be very healing. 

I am not a psychiatrist but from my own experiences, I believe the following: if we have had sad or troubled childhoods or “adulthoods,” where we had to safely tuck away our little, inner child to protect, maybe they can come out every now and then to play for a while, if life is safe enough, for even a brief outing of joy, peace, beauty and/or love.

Just maybe with successive outings, that sweet, loving, happy, inner child can stay out longer each time. Maybe they can help us recapture the joy we once felt before our lives crashed around us.    

Sometimes when I order lunch at some restaurants that have good chocolate chip cookies, I order one and take it to my seat to wait for my meal. If I am hungry or if I just want one, I open the package and eat half or all of one. One day a young man was cleaning a nearby table and saw me eating my cookie. He gave me a quizzical look. I smiled and said, “I am a big girl and can eat my cookie when I want to!” He laughed and so did I.

Welcome Your Inner Child Back 

Find something that brings you joy and nurtures your inner child. If your inner child is sick or sad, try writing them a letter, or pretend they are there in front of you and tell them how sorry you are that their lives were so hard, but that you love them and want them to find new joy and life and you need them to help you enjoy your life now.

Put aside the sad, painful memories when you are ready and able, and make room for some happy memories, even small ones at first. You deserve it. Your inner child deserves it. They didn’t ask for the situations they experienced, and neither did you. Love them, love yourself.   

19 thoughts on “My Inner Child Is Alive and Well”

  1. I have a doll who fits in the palm of my hand. When I was little I carried her everywhere she went with me. One day while walking to school a dog stole her from my hand. My grandmother dropped me off at school and walked the neighborhood in the snow until she found her for me. Grama has passed a while back and I am now 56 and that doll is still in my drawer where she will stay, till death do us part.

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  6. Oh Elaine…I truly enjoy your honest way of writing, and your precious story about your dear ol’ Smokey — a revived new Smokey Bear, refurbished and restored! So great how that all came together for you — it was meant to be.

    I rescued an abandoned rather ratty looking old teddy bear 🧸 some years ago from a dusty laundry room in the basement of a heritage building where I lived at the time.

    I felt sad that someone had tossed out a treasure, and I was at a place in my own life where I felt somehow tossed aside too. I was slowly starting to realize how our inner child is amazingly precious to God’s heart, no matter where life’s paths had taken us.

    For me, finding and rescuing my Old Teddy reminded me I needed to dust off any lingering cobwebs from life’s apparent failures or disappointments, and learn to find and appreciate and embrace my inner child. My Old “Rescue” Teddy now enjoys a sunny window seat with a small collection of a mini toy moose, a few tiny Ty bears, and my beloved childhood black dolly, Liza. They always make me smile.

    They also remind me how God MOST deeply loves the little child within us —- that special person (untouched by life’s hurts or setbacks), the person He always intended us to be. By allowing ourselves to connect to our inner child, we discover a treasure trove of joy, a whole new freedom of spirit that is not easily thwarted or shaken by life’s challenges. 🧸❤️ We find too that our inner child is a beautiful, strong, delightful person, who is loved through and through by a wonderful kind God who gave us the immeasurable gift of life, and who wants to treasure us forever. “Let the little children come unto Me, for of such is the Kingdom of heaven…” (Matthew 19:14)

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        1. Thank you so much!!! I know that I am loved by God. I am very kind-hearted and feel much concern for the suffering in our world and country. I do what I can to help others. I am thankful for my parents and wonderful siblings because we had such loving and wise parents. Hugs to you!!!

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